In my life there are many issues (depression, stress, ADHD, ADD, Autism, Physical disabilities, etc.), but I hope that I can bring hope to others that have to deal with their own issues. From one person that is suffering with mental illness, I hope to break free of my dark cloud to offer help to others.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


For years now, my family has been asking me if I think I am a hoarder. I have watched the show and told them there is no way (no dead animals, human feces, and rotten food). However, they have taken many opportunities to help clean my home and remind that my house could have been this way without the prior help. I do have some problems with buying things I don't really need. I don't want to be a Hoarder and feel if I admit it that I do have a problem. I know the first step is admitting you have a problem, but I really don't know. I started to search the internet asking if there was a test that may point me in the right direction. I came across this test;

Do you find yourself collecting items that others do not consider valuable?

I am not sure. I suppose you might call the ready supply of deodorants and dish soap collecting. I call it saving for a rainy day, and wouldn’t you think these items are valuable.

Do you experience difficulty or find it impossible to discard your collected items?

I don’t have a big problem discarding items, but I just don’t do it.

Are there rooms inside your home or places outside your home that are cluttered with items you have collected?

Yes, my shed and back room. These cluttered with stuff, but I guess if I collect ‘stuff’ that would be a yes.

Do you need to give permission for others to discard items that you collect?

Doesn’t everybody have a problem with people touching their stuff?

Do you find difficulty organizing the items you have collected?

I have a lot of stuff. That makes it hard to organize.

Do you dislike others touching the items you have collected?

Again, people don’t like other people touching their stuff….

This test just left me just as confused prior to the test. I don't really know if I have yet another brain problem. They say that hoarding is just a symptom of an underlying problem, typically OCD. As certain events in my life make it more and more important to get my house organized, I find myself completely overwhelmed. With the events happening any 'normal' person would put together their responsibilities and do what they have to do. I feel an interior battle inside my head with doing what I know needs to be done and what I seem to do. I feel like a giant anvil is sitting on my body and refusing to get up. My lack of motion has begun to cause me physical pain in forms of headaches, backaches, and even a few conversion reactions. I want so bad to do what has to be done for my family, but I feel as if I am drowning under the weight of something invisible. I don't know how I am going to get out of this pool. It is really hard to explain this feeling of hopelessness.

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