unlikely goals in the midst of emotional and physical issues

All of this started last month with a beautiful piece of white paper that was folded and slit into an enevelope that found its way to my house. That folded piece of paper was my dreaded power bill, and this was the month that we did not have the money for the bill and the payment agreement-which we had made all of our two allowed agreements for the year. Now I am sitting at my house scrambling at straws for some sort of mircale that will get my lights on for another few months, and struggling with the issues Adam is facing. All the while, trying to adjust to life without medication.

Adam

Adam went to the psychologist a couple weeks ago. Now instead of diagnosising him with Asperger's they say he has PDD-NOS. Basically another autistic spectrum disorder. He doesn't meet all of the requirements for autism but does have some of them. Once more Adam is stuck in the middle of the medical community. He is the true definition of high-functioning disabled. Now we went to get recent x-rays done of his ankles, and once more an implant has shifted. However, because he has not complaine of pain the doctor is just going to wait and see. I sure hope it does not shift anymore and we have to have another surgery.

Bills and impossible goals

I have NO idea how I will pay my power bill. I suppose I could go without paying my rent but even that does not pay the bill. I have to come up with $770 by the end of next month or lights out.....what am I going to do. I tried to call the doctor about my medical restrictions but because I am working more now then I was, and the new restrictions the power company has I don't qualify for medical help. I have already been to the local carver office, and they have already helped me out once this year. The only thing I can think of is try to earn enough money on AC to pay the bill. It is not impossible but very unlikely.  This whole mess makes it tough to see the light at the end of my tunnel. I don't know what to do.

My Thoughts

It has been awhile since I posted something here. I have been really busy with going back to work and trying to figure out the bill situation. My stress coping skills have been tested to the max. I wish I could remember everything my therapist taught me. Oh by the way, while I am trying to relax, there are things (besides bills ) that need to get done. How about the laundry, cleaning, mowing and this is just to name a few. Not to mention running Adam to PT. Uggggh! I need a break from life.This all seems to suck!

working hard

Today was the first day of my vacation, but not reallly a break. I was over at my sister's house all day to help get ready for our yard sale this weekend. I had a could time and worked up a sweat. Sometimes physical labor can make you feel good, when it is something you want to do. I don't feel overworked at all. I think when I have a job that I can work at my own pace with then it makes all of the difference. Feeling really good today. Although, I know tomorrow will be a bad day. It always is when I can't paid and I literally don't have enough money to pay the bills. I don't know who is not getting paid. I better stop thinking about that otherwise it will be my mood down.