The morning after

Last night was crazy. I was yelling waaaay too much. The kids were not listening and I was getting very stressed out. Everything seemed to snowball at me. After sending the kids to bed, I popped the top of off a wine cooler. I have not drank in forever. One bottle gave me a buzz, and I honestly felt strangely medicated. I felt relaxed and not stressed at all. I can totally understand how some people can turn to alcohol to self medicate. I don't want to be like that. I really wish I could deal with life off of my medication. Some people have it worse then I do and they don't have meds. What is wrong with me? Why can I not just suck it up and deal with things without becoming some screaming banishy. In better news, I have my old dinosaur of a computer working and it has a story I started to work on about two years ago on it. I wonder if I could finish it.