In my life there are many issues (depression, stress, ADHD, ADD, Autism, Physical disabilities, etc.), but I hope that I can bring hope to others that have to deal with their own issues. From one person that is suffering with mental illness, I hope to break free of my dark cloud to offer help to others.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Hoarder vs. Severely Depressed

This is a fair warning....I am let out all of my dirty laundry. (Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you I have a lot)

In the past year, I have had many well meaning friends and family ask me if I thought I was a hoarder. They kindly pointed out some things that pointed to them that I needed some psychological help. After the show "Hoarders" aired, I got a lot of offers for 'help'. I tried to take many of these comments in strive and take a good look around me. I tried to look inside of myself and ask myself the same question...Am I a hoarder?

I reseasrched the Internet to find the answer. There are many websites out there with a checklist of 'hoarding' symptoms. I tried to answer these honestly. However, the problem is that some classic hoarding signs are also classic depression signs too. Some of my research suggested hoarding is actually a symptom of a deeper mental disorder. Perhaps hoarding is a symptom of my depression?

I do not have rotten food sitting out in my house. I do not have dead animals or an abundant amount of animals (2 cats and 1 dog). However, my house could be a lot cleanier. I am ashamed and embrassed to have people over. However, if something is broken (and I have the money to) I will call a repair man and just clean before he gets here. I do have one room in my house that is not being used that is full of clutter. This room does not have air in it and gets very hot so even before it was full of 'stuff' we spent the summer out of the room.

As you can see there are many signs that point to yes and many signs that point to no. I could be severely depressed, or a closet hoarder. I really don't know. I suppose I could be a lazy housekeeper. I do know that since be diagnosised with conversion disorder my stamina is not what it used to be. This too keeps my house in a mess. I can not work an eight hour shift at work and do anything esle that requires physical labor. I will fall asleep about eight to nine o'clock if I don't 'have' to do anything. I am trying to bulid it up, but I also don't want to ignore my body and have another conversion reaction. hmmm. I just don't know where my mind is at.

Hubby does not help matters any at all. He is very sentimental, and his ADHD (according to my research) has the side effect of not shouldering the household chores evenly. If adults that have ADD/ADHD do not feel rewarded by a task right away then they won't do it.

Things are a mess in my home, in my mind, and in my marriage.

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