If anybody knows who I am they know that I am a Twilight fan. I saw the newest movie this afternoon. It was amazing and I am so grateful for Stephanie Meyer and the escape she gives me. I love the movies and the books. They tend to provoke many questions. Such as:
Can you really love two people at once?
In the series Bella loves both Edward and Jacob. I am married to a wonderful man, but sometimes I think about an ex and wonder if I still love him. I wonder if I can love two people at once. Although in Twilight Jacob is in love so much with Bella that his life seems to be for her. He is in love with her to the point of fighting for her "untill her hearts stops beating." I don't have a guy like that. I don't have a guy that has loved me so much that his life does not go on.
Am I really in love with my husband?
Bella and Edward love each other. It is clear in the way they touch, look at each other and the sacrifices that do for each other. Some of their relationship reminds me of the abusive relationship I was in. Some of Edwards behavior is abusive, but he is just looking out for Bella's safety. Sometimes it is scary but it is a sign that he truly cares. I don't see this type of devotion from my husband or from myself.
Why do I stress about things that don't matter?
Coming home after the movie I felt as if I wanted to live in their fantasy world. Although in their world there was a lot of fighting and death and dying. For some reason I felt like their world would be better then my own. I think they have less stress then I do in real life. How is that possible? My friends are not total enemies and people are not looking to kill me.....but I would rather be there. I must really be messed up!
In my life there are many issues (depression, stress, ADHD, ADD, Autism, Physical disabilities, etc.), but I hope that I can bring hope to others that have to deal with their own issues. From one person that is suffering with mental illness, I hope to break free of my dark cloud to offer help to others.